I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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