We're facebook friends in real life
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
