I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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