We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
