I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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