This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
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Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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