bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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