so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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