This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
