New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this just has baby written all over it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
