she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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