Do you still have your period?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
