I wish my penis had an off switch
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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