I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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