tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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