i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
