my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this will be a night to untag.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
