Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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