Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
