I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
