so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
