Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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