There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
