New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
