Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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