i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
