My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
