I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
