He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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