umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
