Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize