your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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