it wasn't lemon gatorade
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
