they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
