What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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