Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
