if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
