Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
