The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
