I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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