whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
