So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
