just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
