I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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