We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
honey bunches of taint.
handjob tips. give me some.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
