I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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