omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
