all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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