Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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