Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
