Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wanna passion pit in your ass
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
