i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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