Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize