There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
