So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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