Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize