I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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