haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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