But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
