i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Let's get the cat blown out
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
