Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize